Jane Doe in, I Wish They’d Do it Right, opposes her sons idea of cohabitation. She believes that marriage offers many benefits for her son, her son’s partner, and the child. He refuses to take vow into a legal relationship and she begins to argue with her son’s idea when finally her son’s fiance has a child. Jane Doe states that because of her son cohabitating, he has become economically disadvantaged, causes social awkwardness, and deprives the happiness of the extended family. All families who have a child should marry because there are multiple benefits and it legitimizes a legal standing in society.
Jane Doe states that there are economic benefits that her son and her daughter-in-law are denying themselves. As college students, housing in the married-students dormitories of a university would have been an advantage considering that they would not be paying as much as a regular housing payment.
Because they are not married and could not provide a marriage certificate, they were denied and forced to find another place off campus. In addition, Jane Doe’s daughter-in-laws medical insurance denied her son because they were not legally married.
Doe continues on to say that other inconveniences will come their way, and they have chosen to undergo through those struggles. Similar to Doe’s situation, a couple that I know, who have been together well over 8 years now, are not able to file joint returns because they are not married. This could be financially helpful because it helps qualify for a variety of tax credits and there is a high rate of a higher income. Their decision to stay as they are (not married) also takes away benefits, but for now, they are living in good conditions and enjoying what they have.
Doe believes that not being married causes social awkwardness because she does not know what to refer her son’s partner as. Although Doe’s word usage in her essay brings some confusion, publicly, she does not know what to call her. She questions what ways she could present her sons partner and chooses to call her her daughter-in-law as her son refutes any assumptions that they have taken vows. In the same instances, I have a “brother-in-law” who I should not be calling that yet.
Soon, though, he and my sister will legally marry and my niece will have a legit family in which she can grow with. In addition, they will then find the advantages they were once not taking. Finally, Doe takes this situation into a more personal level when she involves her family. She says that the couple’s unchanging believe of cohabitating has been depriving to the rest of her family. She goes on to say that other family members just can’t cope with the situation in which they are put in. As she concludes, her tone changes when she addresses her son’s partner as his wife.
She also claims that the family will not love them any more for it, which brings up questioning of why she even wrote this essay if she is already happy for them. Jane Doe believes marriage will bring happiness not only to her son’s family, but to the extended family as well. She provides supporting arguments to demonstrate the things that her son is not taking advantage of and explains how marriage could benefit him in many ways. Despite all this, her son’s militant support of his ideology did not change, and to him, marriage is something that he can’t imagine doing and instead carries on with his belief of cohabitating.